Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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