I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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