He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
