is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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