I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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