I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
two words...techno handjob
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize