How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
there is glitter all over my balls
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
