Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
