Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
