they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize