Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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