do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
