I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
