i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
