It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
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Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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