If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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