how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
