who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Found the puke drawer
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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