Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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