worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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