I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
