Got a toothbrush?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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