She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
