How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
