he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
