She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
