Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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