Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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