So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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