I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
