I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Pooping to opera.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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