hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
