Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
