Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
