that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
