i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
