Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
