singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
