either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
