I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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