I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
