wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize