Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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