You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize