Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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