i need an iv and a liver transplant
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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