ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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