my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
