I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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