Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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