i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
