Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize