In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
