i barfeds in our rink
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
