I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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