When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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