Walk of Shame. In a state park.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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