I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
a search helicopter?!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
