I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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