I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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