did you get engaged???
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
