i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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