my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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