i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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