i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
