It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
